Once upon a time, there was a girl. She was smart, self-confident, and brave. She had all of those characteristics that the average girl hopes to have when she grows up. Despite these wonderful traits, this girl suffered a loss one day. She lost something that made her feel broken and insecure on the inside. Because she was known for being strong and independent, she didn't share her struggle with anyone. She went to work everyday, spent time with her family and friends, leaned a little more heavily on her vices, and prayed for her heart to heal. None of those things worked and her heart did not heal.
She continued to move through life, year after year, continuing to work toward her life goals, making advances, and suffering the normal setbacks. Her life continued to appear normal to those around her, but she was still broken. The difference between the life she appeared to live and her reality was that she often cried herself to sleep at night, she stopped taking care of her health, and she resented everyone around her for not noticing that she was broken. Slowly drowning. Suffocating a little more every day.
When she finally reached out for help, she was asked why she didn't tell someone about her loss. Her answer was simple: it would have done no good. She said that she knew there was no possibility that the object she longed for would every be returned, so she didn't see the point of telling anyone about it.
This girl was intelligent, charming, friendly, successful, and wrong. Granted, she couldn't undo the loss, but every day that she hid her tears, buried the shame, and hoped to forget the pain was a day she ignored multiple opportunities for healing.
A hug from her best friend or a pep talk from a wise old loved one wouldn't have erased her tragedy, but they would have mitigated the devastation she suffered from years of loneliness.
Every time she thought 'nobody understands me' or 'how can they not notice that I'm devastated?' the pain she felt from the initial loss grew bigger and even more complex. Even if her loss could have been reversed, the damage that had been caused by her emotional isolation would have remained.
The moral of the story is twofold.
Pay attention to the people you care about and don't be afraid to speak up when you think something may be wrong.
If you are broken, don't suffer in silence. If you are not comfortable speaking with your friends or family members (or aren't even sure what to say) a professional Therapist is a great option. If you are in Raleigh, NC, click here to book your first session today!
There are brighter days ahead...